Look, we know that being an engineer is serious work. In fact, some may go so far as to say it’s no laughing matter – from buildings to pacemakers, engineers design things that, well, you don’t want to fail. That’s a lot of responsibility! But the truth is, sometimes a little lightness is just what these essential professionals need. And if you’re an engineer (or have one in your life), jokes and puns about engineers might be the fun you’re looking for when you need a break from the mind-scrolling fate of the disastrous consequences of what could happen if your job goes wrong. Just file “taking five for a good laugh” under your personal development goals.
Another thing about engineers? They have some kind of … how do we say that? – esoteric brand of humor. Engineers find things like patches, programs, updates, and even electricity hilarious. So if you’re not in that field, well, some of these jokes might be flying over your head. And you know what? This just makes jokes and puns from engineers more fun for these pros. Every joke is basically an inside joke!
So, if you’re an engineer and you need some humor to get yourself out of a crisis or distract yourself from a boring troubleshooting session, keep reading some of the best engineering jokes on the web.
Best engineer jokes and puns
- The optimist says: “The glass is half full.”
The pessimist says: “The glass is half empty”. The engineer says: “Glass is twice as big as it should be.”
- What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons; civil engineers build targets.
- You could be an engineer if …
Showcase Radio Shack.
- The laws of engineering:
– Any circuit design must contain at least one obsolete part, two unobtainable parts and three parts still under development. – Nothing is ever built on schedule or within budget. An error will not appear until a unit passes the final inspection. If you can’t fix it, document it. – The designer’s primary function is to make things difficult for the manufacturer and impossible for the military.
- An engineer, a statistician and a physicist are on the hunt. They spot a dollar and each takes a turn to try and pack it.
The physicist goes first. He takes out his lab book and quickly calculates the bullet’s trajectory, assuming it’s a perfect sphere in a vacuum. The bullet falls 20 meters from the deer. The engineer is second. He takes out the engineering pad and the bullet hypothesis book. After a few minutes he is ready. He takes aim and shoots. The bullet lands 20 meters beyond the deer. The statistician leaps triumphantly into the air, shouting, “We got it!”
- A chemist, a physicist and a chemical engineer are sailing along a river. They crash the raft on the shore. They have a supply of preserves but no can openers.
The pharmacist tries to erode the can. Does not work. The physicist uses his glasses to focus sunlight to burn a hole in the jar. That doesn’t work either. The chemical engineer stands up and proclaims: “I understand! Suppose the can is open!
- Three engineers got together to discuss the possible designers of the human body. One said: “He was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.
Another said, “No, he was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections ”. The last one said, “He Actually he was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreation area?
- How do you get an engineer to do something you want them to do?
Tell him it’s “impossible”.
- A wife asks her husband, an engineer, a favor.
“Honey, can you please drop by the store and get a pint of milk? And if they have eggs, take a dozen! ” The man goes to the store and, half an hour later, comes back with 12 pints of milk. His wife stares at him and asks, “Why on earth did you take 12 pints of milk?” “Well … they had eggs,” she replied.
- What does a birth control engineer use?
- What is the definition of engineer?
Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
- “When I die, I want the people I’ve made group projects with to lower me to the grave so they can let me down one last time.” – @ RaghebRaad / Twitter
- What do nuclear engineers eat?
- Engineer n. 1: “I bet you can’t name two structures that can hold water.”
Engineer n. 2: “Well, dam”.
- Wind turbine No. 1: “What kind of music do you like?”
Wind turbine No. 2: “I’m a huge fan of metal.”
- An indeterminate radius enters a bar.
“What can I get you?” asks the bartender. “Just give me a moment,” replies the beam.
- There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don’t.
- Before studying engineering, if someone had asked me what 1 + 1 is, I would have said 2.
Now, I’d say I’m pretty sure it’s 2, but we’d better do 3 just to be safe.
- What is the difference between a doctor and an engineer?
A doctor kills people one at a time.
- What did the electrical engineer say when he was shocked?
- A science graduate asks, “Why does it work?”
An engineering graduate asks, “How does it work?” An accounting graduate asks: “How much will it cost?”
- New engineer: “How do you estimate how long a project will take?”
Experienced Engineer: “Add up the time required for each task, then multiply that by more.” New engineer: “Why more?” Experienced engineer: “Ensures all my budgets are irrational.”
- What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday?
- A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer are all trying to find the volume of a yellow bouncy ball.
The mathematician takes out the calipers and measures the diameter, then evaluates the integral. The physicist takes a bowl of water, drops the ball into it and measures the displacement. The engineer approaches with the book in hand, checks a serial number and looks for the volume on his bouncy yellow dance table.
- Why did the Higgs boson go to church?
For the mass.
- Why do electrical engineers love naps?
You can accumulate a charge with them.
- Have you heard of the company that sells elastomeric isolators?
Their motto is “resistance is butyl”.
- You could be an engineer if …
Destroy things just to see how they work.
- Me: “You are an engineer, why are you so stupid about technology?”
Spouse: “I just design it, I don’t use it”. – @ blurvirus / Twitter
- How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Nobody. It is a hardware problem.
- Are you made of copper and tellurium?
Because you are cute.
- An elderly country gentleman sent his son to study engineering. Four years later, upon his son’s return, he asked him what he had learned in college. His son replied: “Pi r piazza.”
Dad exclaimed, “You haven’t learned anything, boy! The cake is round; piazza del pane ».
- What is a polar bear?
A Cartesian bear after a change of coordinates.
- What is an engineer’s favorite nursery rhyme?
“Rho, rho, rho your boat, smoothly descend the radius of curvature …”
- Why did engineering students leave classes early?
Because they were getting some ANSI!
- Professor: “How much pressure is there on you guys in the last two weeks before the break?”
Boy: “24,000 Pascals”.
- How is molasses separated from brown sugar?
By spinning the cane syrup in a giant centrifuge, it’s a viscous cycle.
- What did one bridge say to the other bridge he was courting?
“We can not be together. You have problems with the pylon. “
- What kind of graphs do engineers make after Thanksgiving dinner?
- You may have heard of Sin City, but have you heard of Den City?
It is mass over volume.
- Which song lyrics do electrical engineers always get stuck in their head?
“What is love? Honey, I don’t hertz.
- Two antennae got married.
The wedding was bad, but the reception was great.
- Knock, knock.
Who is there? Friction coefficient of interruption. Friction coefficient of interruption – mmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu (μ).
- Why did the electron vomit?
It was turning.
- What is the difference between an introverted engineer and an extrovert?
An introverted engineer looks at his shoes when he talks to you. An outgoing engineer looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
- What did the structural engineer say to the architect?
- Why did the thermometer feel superior to the graduated cylinder?
He had multiple degrees.
- Whenever a freshman comes out of engineering, a cannon should explode as in Hunger games.
- How many technical consultants do you need to replace a light bulb?
One, but you will be charged $ 50.
- Did you hear about the person who invented the escalator?
They were mechanically inclined.
- One day an engineer was crossing a road when a frog called him.
“If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess,” said the frog. She bent down, picked up the frog and put it in her pocket. The frog then shouted, “If you kiss me and you turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a week and I’ll do it. everything you want. “Again, the engineer took out the frog, smiled at him and put it back in his pocket.” What’s the matter? “asked the frog. a week and I’ll do whatever you want. Why don’t you kiss me? ” “Look,” the man said. “I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girl, but a talking frog – now it’s okay!
- Why do computer engineers confuse Halloween and Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.
- An engineer is a person who measures with a micrometer, marks it with a crayon and cuts it with an ax.
- What is the difference between a chemical engineer and a chemist?
A chemical engineer does for profit what a chemist does for fun.
- Most people believe, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”
Engineers believe, “If it’s not broken, add more functionality!”
- A girl asked her boyfriend, an engineer, “Don’t you want to see where I was operated on for appendicitis?”
The engineer replied, “Oh, I would hate to see a hospital.”
- I keep trying to find a phone number in Atlanta, but all websites keep returning “Not Found” errors.
(Explanation: The Atlanta prefix is 404 as in HTTP 404, the error code for “File not found.”)
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